No More Secrets

At this morning’s men’s breakfast at Calvary, I shared about the dangerous and destructive ramifications of men living with secret or hidden areas of their lives. Men have demonstrated a bad habit of having hidden areas of their lives that they work hard to keep from their spouses and friends. In Joshua 7 we read the story of Achan. He hid stolen items from Jericho under his tent. He violated what God had comannded. His secret life zapped Israel of its power and effectiveness.

With the Ashley Madison Hack, 36 million people who sought out an extramarital affair via the site had their identity and activity exposed. Too many Christian men are losing their testimony for Christ with their family and friends due to the hidden areas they work so hard to keep. We talked about the damaging impact online pornography, sexual affairs, emotional affairs, hidden gambling, and other secret areas have on men, their families, their friends, and their church. To live and love like Jesus with power and impact, there can be no more secrets in our lives!

Here are some of the basic points I made today.

Kinds of secret/hidden areas:

  1. online porn
  2. a sexual affair
  3. an emotional affair
  4. spending or gambling
  5. time away from responsibility
  6. visiting a specific place or event
  7. practicing a hidden habit


8 Myths of the Secret lives we live

#1 – No one is being hurt
        -the people you love the most end up getting hurt the most

#2 – It’s just a little thing I keep for me
         -love gives, selfishness grabs

#3 – Trust me – it’s no big deal
         -hiding something from those you love devastates intimacy

#4 – There’s nothing wrong with just being curious
        -we are called to walk in the light not flirt with the dark

#5 – I would never go further
        -when you think you can’t fall you will

#6 – I really need this because my needs aren’t being met
        -you have confused what you want with what you need

#7 – I’m only human
         -if you are a follower of Christ, you have His Spirit in you

#8 – It’s not hurting what others think about me
         -your character is revealed when no one is looking


Dealing with the Secrets:

#1 – Don’t give in, run away
        -as fast as you can
-as far as you can

#2 – Don’t give up, reach out
         -to God who will give you strength
-to godly men who will have your back
-to wise counsel who will guide you forward


Other Resources:

3 Wise Safeguards in the Wake of Ashley Madison
5 Lessons from the Hacking of Adultery Website Ashley Madison